Streets Ahead is the column from London Walks' Pen and Daily Constitutional Special Correspondent David Tucker…
Now as for the American rag Sports Illustrated’s annual Swimsuit Edition…
What a yawn. So predictable.
And that’s without bothering to ask the obvious questions.
You know, what’s that fare – or fair? (now there’s a high valence word for you in this instance) – got to do with sport?
Illustrated – yes, it does illustrate. Is illustrative. Grant you that.
And why bathing suits? Ok, I know why – but, c’mon, let’s get the truth out, is anybody involved in that project – editors, journalists, photographers, designers, etc. – able to walk into a bar and order a beer? I.E. over 21? What about embarrassment? Anybody feel even a trace of embarrassment? Or is it – like irony – not on the palette?
Oh Puck it. Put a girdle round the earth in 40 minutes. Well, across the Atlantic. In 40 nanoseconds. Pitch up here, I mean. In London. Bye bye Land of the Swimsuit Edition. Hello good old London.
I just finished putting up the capsule bio for London Walks guide Maitland. Reads as follows:
'Maitland', yes that's her first name, is Scottish, short and dyes her hair vivid colours – not surprising as she used to sing in a punk band. She also happens to be an award-winning Blue Badge Guide who has enjoyed London for more than 20 years. The arty side of town is her side of choice so if you find 'London calling at the top of the dial' come on down and walk for a while....
Finished it and looked out my front window. Just in time to see a young London woman – of Middle Eastern extraction – flash by on a scooter. Aviator sunglasses. Brown hijab. Tan, down-to-the-scooter length dress, white trimmings, etc.
Down my street. Quiet, residential street in West Hampstead.
And right up my street – London women.
So, in the space of about 1.5 seconds, Scottish Maitland, hair dyed vivid colours, and Ms. ? from Lebanon or Iran or Iraq or Egypt or wherever. On that Hi Ho silver scooter. Under her hijab. Behind those aviator sunglasses.
Bears repeating. London women. That’s women, not girls. They get my vote.
Why can’t they all be California girls?
If you have to ask, Brian, you don’t get it.
A London Walk costs £9 – £7 concession. To join a London Walk, simply meet your guide at the designated tube station at the appointed time. Details of all London Walks can be found at www.walks.com.