
A
THREE-WAY (CONVERSATION)
This
sound familiar? Especially the first 19 words.
"I've
not come here to get money; not I; I've come here merely for the good of the
public, and to let you see how you've been imposed upon by a parcel of pompous
shopkeepers, who are not content with less than 100 per cent for rubbish. They
got up a petition – which I haven't time to read to you just now – offering me
a large sum of money to keep away from here. But no, I had too much friendship
for you to consent, and here I am. . . . I've in this cart a cargo of useful
and cheap goods; can supply you with anything, from a needle to an anchor.
Nobody can sell as cheap as me, seeing that I gets all my goods upon credit,
and never means to pay for them. Now then, what shall we begin with? Here's a
beautiful guard-chain."
It
is of course from London Labour and the
London Poor, Henry Mayhew’s mid-19th century expedition deep
into the world of the Victorian underclass.
Still
not got it?
Hint:
he’s not there to “get money.” But – who woulda thought it? – turns out he’s got wares to
“sell.” They’re “cheap” (I’ll bet they are). But – oh dear – money’s going to
be changing hands.
But,
but, but… If he’s not there “to get money” – if he’s there “merely for the good
of the public” – well, he must be giving the stuff away.
It
must be “free.” Isn’t that what “not here to get money” means?
On
a completely unrelated note, I’ve been thinking about suckers lately.
What’s
their birth rate now? Is it still one every minute?
Answers
on a postcard please.
A London Walk costs £10 – £8 concession. To join a London Walk, simply meet your guide at the designated tube station at the appointed time. Details of all London Walks can be found at www.walks.com.










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